May 2, 2011

Pues something is telling me that Alena really needs a cell phone for her birthday, but then again that something might just be Alena. Well this week as far as the missionary work goes was massiso. We were once again blessed to find more people who accepted a baptismal date, as well as investigators coming to church. I also learned that it is not just elders that our disobedient. Flipping hermanas, they're killing me right now. I guess the zone leaders found them at their house still in there pajamas at 12:00 in the morning. Turns out that this is an almost every day occurrence according to the members they live with as well. But they are doing way good with everything else. right? I mean baptisms and lessons, so it is all good. Sorry, but that is not how it works. This is God's work, and a lot of times he will bless disobedient missionaries, just as much as He will obedient missionaries. The rain falls on both the wicked and the righteous. Just because our lives are good, and everything is going right, does not mean that we personally are doing what is good nor doing what is right. So what does obedience do? I have been thinking about this a lot. It seems to me that the times where I have been the most obedient has brought about two different results. It was towards the begging of my mission, and I was pretty close to 100% obedient or so I thought and all it did was make me use the word irate a ton, and judge other people, I had begun to think I was better than the other missionaries, and really looked down on the disobedient ones. I was living the law perfectly and i loved being obedient to it. But I never found the joy in the gospel doing this. Then something changed, as I realized how this is not the type of obedient that God wanted me to be. there's a quote that says. "When obedience ceases to become an irritant, and rather becomes the desire of our hearts, at that precise moment we are endowed with power from on high." Obedience has recently become something that I chose to do not as a duty or something that my mind loved, but rather something that my heart wants to do. Everything in the gospel is all about motives. I can honestly say that I am beginning to understand the joy of the gospel, the power that God has entrusted me with, so that I can teach his children. to truly experience this joy and power, cannot be experienced by a disobedient missionary. I don't think I am better than a single missionary out here, but i do feel saddened when I know the joy and power that they are missing. They still have success a lot of the time, they have fun, and they change peoples lives; but there is nothing compared to the purification power of the Holy Ghost, as it purifies all of your motives. I have failed to many times at this already... It seems the more I try to be obedient or to be purified God puts another test in our path. Sadly a lot of the times I fail the test, in fact I almost beat this guy down as he started back talking us on something completely false this week. I was like well are you going to fight with us or are you actually going to listen. And then my companion and I just shut him down with the bible.But that's the beauty of the Atonement. But ya hopefully by the end of this I will be a purified vessel in the hands of God...be able to righteously choose amandas husband, and beat down the guys that knock on our door for Alena...2nd thought something is telling me she does not need a cell phone. But i love yall so much and have an awesome week. talk to yall later LQM